The irritable illusionist Grendall's mood was little improved by the way his neighbours or passers-by kept stealing his washing from the clothes line. It was hardly too much to ask that his clothes be let dry in peace surely, even if they were fancy satins from Elwickslund!

Finally snapping after his favourite silver-slashed pantaloons were swiped, he dug deep into his extensive collection of spell books and concocted a spell to deter further purloinments. Grendall's Unearthly Texture causes any piece of cloth to acquire an unpleasant, indescribable but oddly offensive feel when it is worn or carried, unless one knows the correct words to say.

If cast on someone wearing the clothes, they immediately become distracted and sweaty, and will find it difficult to concentrate on what they're doing. Vigorous activity like running or fighting makes the clammy violating touch of the material even worse, and the enchantment can persist for weeks.